Rest, Reconnect, Reflect. How 7 days away makes us stronger all year long!
Since having kids, my husband and I have made it a priority to get away—just the two of us—at least once a year. My love language is quality time, so uninterrupted moments with my husband really fill my love tank. The focus of this time is simple yet powerful: to rest, reconnect, and reflect.
To be clear, this getaway doesn’t need to be extravagant, expensive, or even very long. The purpose is to silence the noise of the daily grind and take a break from the weight of life’s responsibilities. Whether it’s a staycation close to home or a splurge on a dream destination, this annual retreat fills my soul. We plan and budget for it in advance, and it’s one of the things I most look forward to each year.
If you’re a parent, you know that arranging childcare can be one of the biggest hurdles. We’re incredibly grateful to have both sets of grandparents who generously step in to watch our kids. If family isn’t an option for you, consider partnering with a close, trusted friend—ideally someone whose kids are similar in age to yours—so you can take turns supporting each other. Start small—maybe with just an overnight stay—and work your way up to longer trips as your kids get older and more comfortable being away.
Our getaways usually include time in nature, delicious food, a new adventure, and some much-needed relaxation.
Here are a few ideas to help you plan your own couples’ retreat:
1. Take Care of Business Early
We always seem to have some “business” to discuss—whether it’s finances, parenting, logistics, or future plans. And yes, these conversations can lead to tension. That’s okay! It’s part of being two different people with different ideas doing life together.
I’m not a proponent of avoiding hard conversations, but I do advocate for getting them out of the way early. Sometimes we have the tough talks en route to the airport or while sitting on the plane. I find it helpful to lay all the cards on the table, work through it, and move forward with clarity.
I’m grateful that my husband and I are both natural problem-solvers. Over the years, we’ve learned how to compromise and understand each other’s perspectives. But that skill takes time—and lots of practice.
2. Rest
There is so much to take care of on a daily basis. My husband is in a demanding leadership role in corporate America, and I’m a stay-at-home mom, focused on raising kind, hardworking, responsible humans while keeping our household running smoothly. Between work, kids, activities, health, meals, home maintenance, and community service—it’s a lot.
That’s why rest is crucial.
Rest looks different for each of us. Nate loves spending an extra hour at the gym, enjoying an unrushed workout. For me, rest means embracing the Italian concept of dolce far niente—the sweetness of doing nothing. Having time when I’m not a mom, maid, chef, teacher, or therapist is essential.
Thankfully, Nate and I share similar vacation interests: a healthy mix of relaxation and adventure. No matter what rest looks like for you, carve out time to step away from responsibility. Silence the noise, pause the mental checklist, and be still. Easier said than done, right? It takes me a few days to truly unwind—which is why we usually plan for 5–7 days. But I promise you, the benefits are so worth it.
3. Reconnect
Life gets busy. Without intentionality, it’s easy to slip into a “roommate” dynamic in marriage. This trip is our time to rekindle the love, friendship, and passion we shared in the early years.
While we try to do weekly date nights, extended time away deepens our connection on a whole new level. After 11 years of marriage and many seasons of change, this trip always reminds us how much we enjoy each other’s company. Emotional intimacy often leads to greater physical intimacy, so—everyone wins! 😉
Investing in our marriage makes us stronger as a couple and better as parents. After each trip, we return with a shared vision and a renewed sense of unity.
4. Reflect
Once we’ve rested and reconnected, I like to take time to reflect—on how I’m doing personally, how we’re doing as a couple, and how our kids are growing.
I think about our mistakes, what we’ve learned, and how we can grow from those lessons. Reflection helps me recognize patterns—both good and bad—and course-correct when needed. We also take time to celebrate what we’ve done well and acknowledge the progress we’ve made.
This is when we re-align our goals and make sure we’re still moving in the same direction. Stepping back gives me clarity on blind spots that might be holding us back, and helps me move forward with intention.
On our way home, we always feel refreshed, grateful, and more in love than when we left. There’s a deep sense of rejuvenation—mentally, emotionally, and physically. Dare I say… we even feel younger?
With well-rested bodies, new memories, and full tummies, we return ready to embrace whatever the next season holds.
I hope this inspires you to plan your next trip with your spouse!!!
Destination Ideas from previous trips:
- Maui, Hawaii
- Cancun, Mexico
- Puerto Vallarta, Mexico
- Grand Cayman Island
- Sarasota, Florida
- Estes Park, Colorado
- Austin Hill Country
- San Antonio, Texas
- Santa Barbara, California
- San Diego, Califoria
- Sedona, Arizona
- Belize
What do you love to do on vacation with your loved one? Share in the comments below!